For My Beloved Husband
One of my biggest regrets when Thomas and I married was that I didn’t give a speech on our wedding day. I had wanted to tell everyone at the reception how much I loved him and how proud I was that he chose me to be his wife. A short while before Thomas died, I told him about this regret and that I wanted to rectify it by speaking at his service. So, I stand before you today to honour my promise to my Thomas.
Thomas always accused me of summarizing too much. He couldn’t handle it when I asked him to summarise his long-winded tales; he was always left wanting when I told him anything short on detail! While I could chat on endlessly about what I think was fabulous about my darling Thomas, I thought you may benefit more if I stay with tradition and keep this short and sweet. So, I want to tell you a story that I think sums him up.
In the last weeks of Thomas’s life, his body deteriorated dramatically, he was unusually lethargic and extremely weak. One afternoon, Thomas awoke from sleep and said to his father “I want to get up into my chair.” Wulf, a little surprised, nonetheless kindly obliged and went to fetch his wheelchair and me to help him up. I thought it curious and went to ask him if he was sure. He looked me directly in the eyes and said in all seriousness, “Yes, I need to go shopping.” I was stunned! So, I probed further: “What do you need to go shopping for, honey?” He responded, “I want to buy gifts to show my love and appreciation.”
And that was Thomas all over. He always wanted to show his love and appreciation to his friends and family and he did this by giving. Always giving of himself, giving his time, giving gifts, giving his shoulder to cry on, sharing his knowledge, giving his opinion(!) Thomas always wanted to help people. He loved people! And he always wanted people to feel special, loved, appreciated. Even in his last moments he was still trying to give.
I don’t know if I will fully understand why Thomas had to be taken from us so early. For now, I choose to believe that he completed what he came here to do – he enriched our lives in so many ways, he showed us how to overcome adversity with style and grace - and now he has returned home to be rewarded for a job well done. He taught us some beautiful lessons, maybe it’s time for him to step back and let us spread our wings.
Please be upstanding. I would now like to share with you a prayer I wrote for Thomas.
My Prayer for Thomas
As you explore your new home, these are the things I wish for you.
May you find LOVE. You gave so much to others throughout your life, may you now be filled and surrounded by eternal love.
May you find PEACE. You fought so much during your life, may you find the eternal peace you so richly deserve.
May you find ACCEPTANCE and UNDERSTANDING for all the events in your life that didn’t make sense and for all the suffering and injustices you endured.
May you find eternal HAPPINESS.
Rest in Peace, my love.
I now invite you to join me now for a moment’s silence to reflect on Thomas’ wonderful life.
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My sincerest thanks go to all the previous speakers here today. I could not have asked for more. You have honoured the memory of Thomas more than words can describe. I also wish to thank Johan and the whole of DESA for making this event possible.
I thank you all for coming here today and sharing in the celebration of Thomas’s life. I am overwhelmed by the love and respect you are showing to us, Thomas’s family.
Finally, thank you, mum, thank you, Wulf, thank you, Edith, for your tremendous support. We would never have managed without you. I love you all very much.
I would like to close with one of Thomas’s favourite songs, What a Wonderful Life by Louis Armstrong.
